Featured Fellow: Shaye Kilimann
Shaye grew up in the suburbs of Colorado Springs, Colorado (“before it became so crowded!”) in a house with her parents and four siblings. She graduated from Colorado Christian University in May 2020 with a degree in Communications.
The whole Kilimann clan (minus one of Shaye’s sisters-in-law and fiancé)!
Growing up, Shaye’s time was filled with lots of fun times spent with family and friends right in her very own neighborhood! She spent hours playing wiffle ball, basketball, and soccer games with her family in their yard, which led to a line-up of competitive sports which she then played in high school: track, volleyball, basketball, and softball (one of her most fun facts is that she lost a tooth playing softball in high school! “I ended up having two root canals and a removable, fake tooth for the middle part of my senior year in high school! I loved running into things and acting like that ‘knocked my tooth out’ during school as a joke. I ended up winning “‘Best Smile’ that year because my senior class was super close and we messed with each other a lot…and I thrived taking that picture!”).
Besides rounding the bases with her siblings and getting coffee with friends, some of her fondest memories from childhood are the birthday parties that her mom used to throw for her and her siblings (three brothers and one sister). “One of the words I always aspire to be is ‘selfless,’ and after reflecting on my life in the Fellows program, I realized it was because my mom has always been exactly that. When parents and friends would comment on our parties being the best, I would know it was all because of my mom taking the time to do that for us. My dad was a huge part of that too in being willing to financially support those parties--plus, he loves us with a protective, reckless love that could only come from a father.” Some of the parties which her parents threw included carnivals, Amazing Race-styled games, and even a jungle party for Shaye’s 8th birthday in which they filled the dining room with blow up trees, giant stuffed animals, and a fog machine—Shaye and her friends were sent off on a safari and had to find certain animals to win!
“The day I got me a brand spankin new tooth! Yippy-ki-yay!”
In addition to a love of competition and time spent with family and friends, another passion of Shaye’s which surfaced in her younger years was creativity. Whether this was drawing, painting, or giving speeches, she was all about it. In high school she got to shine in the creative spotlight by doing her high school’s announcements over the loud speaker. She tag-lined her announcement spot “Shaye-kin’ it up sincer 1998!” and enjoyed doing “Monday Pun-days” to bring some humor to the beginning of the school week. Although she became a bit discouraged in her artistic endeavors after something which a high school art teacher told her, her passion was revitalized in college when it became her job to decorate the cafeteria’s chalkboard calligraphy-style. “That reinvigorated my love for drawing and calligraphy. Then, I really got into it during the beginning of the pandemic through painting on journals and making gifts too!”
After attending her classical charter school from kindergarten through 12th grade, Shaye chose to attend Colorado Christian University (CCU). She loved the opportunity it afforded her to stay in Colorado—in its beautiful setting as well as being close to family. By this time, through a process of discerning with friends and realizing that she loved both being creative and throwing elaborate parties like her mom, Shaye decided that her dream job was to be a wedding planner. “I really didn’t take much time choosing a major,” Shaye laughed. “I chose Communications based on it being the closest thing to helping me become a wedding planner or a journalist (my fall back plan, since I love to write), and combining that with my love for giving speeches, it just made sense.” However she ends up using her degree, Shaye is thankful to have realized how often we take communication for granted so that she can instead be more intentional with how she communicates to those around her. “We assume that our communication styles match another person’s, and communicate how it’s best for us, not the other. This is not only true cross-culturally, but between male and female and family members. There is so much that goes into communication styles such as origin, family dynamics, and experience, so it’s important to remember that communication is not just about output, and that input can help lead us to communicating so the other hears and is heard.”
Shaye and her parents after her “graduation” during the pandemic!
While Shaye enjoyed her studies, the opportunities which a job in marketing afforded her to be creative, and the intramurals she was able to participate in at CCU, she wouldn’t necessarily describe her college career as the best time of her life. “I did not have a strong friend group of girls and guys in college. Besides a couple of close friends, I had basically acquaintances every year, and CCU’s biggest selling point was ‘community.’ This left me feeling like the reality of a deep and true Christian community of young adults was a hoax.” She encourages high-school and college-aged individuals to make the most of their college years, but also not to feel like they’re doing it wrong if it’s not feeling like “the best time of their lives.” “I am grateful to my 4 years for the life lessons, a few good friends, and the Benjamin, but it definitely will not be making it into any college movie scenes any time soon.”
Speaking of someone named Benjamin—the highlight of her college career, however, was meeting him: her now fiancé. They met during her sophomore year (his freshman year) and bonded over the fact that they both happened to work at Chick-fil-A. “Our eyes met over the 12 count and…nah, I’m just kidding. It was definitely his humor that drew me to him at first.” Shaye loved his subtle, dry humor, and enjoys doing fun things together, like choreographing dances. Shaye also loves the ways in which he truly cares for her. “He helped me begin the process of seeing my emotions as valid again instead of being embarrassed and seeing them as what made me weak/needy. He just loves me so selflessly which is a continued gift of God’s to show me His selflessness through loved ones in my life.” One of her favorite memories and examples of this is their proposal story: he surprised her by proposing to her on a beach in Florida during a photoshoot with his family. Then he doubly surprised her by taking her on a dinner cruise right after that, where her family was waiting for her after having secretly flown in from Colorado to celebrate!
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
-Isaiah 41:9
Since Benjamin still had a year left in college after Shaye graduated, she knew that she’d need to find something to do for a year before they could get married. One of Shaye’s older brothers had done a Fellows program in Memphis, Tennessee, so she was familiar with the idea of a Fellows program and thought it might be a good fit for the year. After narrowing her search down to North Carolina, she was drawn to Greensboro by its name, the annual Rwanda trip, and then by how welcomed she felt by Dodd and Becky as the directors of the program. Since she’d never left Colorado for more than 3 weeks, a move to North Carolina was going to be a huge leap of faith. A couple of her favorite Scripture passages especially resonated during this time. One comes from Isaiah 41: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” “I love the imagery of God, the Creator, Comforter, and All-Powerful one, holding me tenderly in His hand and His promise always being there to strengthen His children.” Another passage close to Shaye’s heart comes from the book of Ruth: Ruth’s reckless and trusting accompaniment of Naomi back to her homeland, despite it being far from everything she had known. “I had been praying for the chance to be ‘reckless’ for God since my sophomore year of college, and with the Fellows program He basically said, ‘Here’s your chance!’…and HE IS FAITHFUL.”
Shaye has loved her time in the Fellows program this year. “The community I have been given through the Fellows has completely redeemed my thoughts about Christian community I had from college. Through the automatic authenticity of each Fellow in who they are and where they were struggling, the Lord began softening my heart in bold vulnerability with fellow believers. This group has truly shown me the power of being the Church body where all of us are so unique in our gifts and skills, and still fully celebrate one another’s strengths.” She has been working as a social media and marketing consultant for a start-up business with Tripp Graziano (who started the Fellows program at Redeemer). Although some of her days have been spent listening to marketing podcasts and researching best practices, she has enjoyed getting to have her first paying clients, running her own meetings with them, and creating marketing content which they’ve been excited about.
Shaye and Benjamin!
Although during the program she has struggled with deep homesickness for her family, her home state, and Benjamin, she describes it as being a hidden blessing at the same time, since it’s enabled her to learn how God has gifted her uniquely apart from any institutions from the past which had influenced her to be or do certain things. “I have begun to realize my passion for using my voice, not only for myself, but for those who are too scared or unable for any reason. As I get deeper with the Lord, I have been shown fears that are more deeply embedded than I had thought since I lived so surface-level before. It has been difficult without my family and Benjamin here to comfort me, but growing and important in forcing me to lean more heavily on the Lord’s Word and presence; as well as, the fellow family He has given me here.”
Shaye is hoping to enter into the wedding industry, and has a possible position lined-up at the venue which she’ll be getting married at this August. She can’t wait to enter into married life with Benjamin, and she hopes that they’ll be able to travel to places like the Great Barrier Reef and the Holy Land. She looks forward to having a family which is just as creative, loving, and fun as hers is as she’s grown up—“I would love to put on amazing birthday parties for my kids like my mom did for us and have a special dish that Benjamin and my future kids scream ‘Oh my goodness, my wife’s/mom’s ___ is sooo good!’”
Shaye has been such a blessing to everyone in the Fellows program with all of her joy, creativity, and compassion for those who are hurting. We are so thankful to know her and can’t wait to see all that God does in hers and Benjamin’s lives!
